I’ve talked to a lot of people about meditation. It seems to me, people have a lot of beliefs and stories about it. Not as many people I’ve talked to have any real experience with it. I often hear people say, “I just can’t meditate.” Probably what they really mean is, “I can’t stop my mind from racing.”
This is a problem that most of us have had at one time or another—whether trying to meditate or just getting through a meeting at work. Sometimes, trying to meditate can even stress you out and make you feel worse. Maybe this is why most people try it once, and never go back to it again.
I’ve experienced this a lot, myself. However, I’ve always been intrigued by what’s possible with meditation. I’ve even spent weeks at a time at ashrams (full-time live-in yoga retreats) where people dedicate themselves 24/7 to living a calm and peaceful life. These people are what I call ‘meditation professionals.’ I figured, if they can’t teach me, nobody can!
Here’s what I’ve learned: Meditation is not about learning to be a good meditator. (This was news to me…) Like most of us, I need to be good at everything I do. That, I found out, was setting myself up for failure. I just got frustrated with trying to clamp down my unruly mind… and it never worked.
So you might ask, “Okay Ken, then what is meditation about?” Okay, I’ll tell you: Meditation is about learning to become better friends with yourself. Rather than doing battle with your thoughts, you learn to treat the content of your mind more gently, as though you were calming an upset child.
There is no ‘right way’ to do this, other than to stay with what’s happening as it happens, in any given moment. I was taught that whatever feelings arise when you’re sitting or walking (and there is such a thing as walking meditation), are exactly perfect for you—at that time. Meditation is not about getting someplace; but rather, it’s about observing whatever’s going on with you right now… and allowing it to just be.
Observing without judgment and accepting without resistance—these are not things we find in our everyday thoughts. They are what meditation teaches us, however.
Here’s something you can try:
Just close your eyes and take three, slow, deep breaths—not like you’re going to be holding your breath underwater—just deepen the natural breathing that you’re doing right now.
For the next three breaths, as you inhale, think to yourself: “I’m grateful.” As you exhale, say, “for this day.”
Then, for the next three breaths, as you inhale, think to yourself: “I’m grateful.” As you exhale, say, “for this hour.”
For the next three breaths, as you inhale, think to yourself: “I’m grateful.” As you exhale, say, “for this moment.”
For the next three breaths, as you inhale, think to yourself: “I’m grateful.” As you exhale, say, “for this breath.”
For the last three breaths… think of nothing. Relax and simply enjoy the experience of being alive.
